What I Always Dreamed

Written by P.D Ravel

I can feel you through my skin. You are the one who dictates my feelings, the one who knows all my fears, and the one who makes me recognize that I like this man next to me. But what you don’t quite understand is that in this reality you are not the only one who dictates things and whether you like it or not, you have to understand that for things to work you have to go in sync with another heart to create the most beautiful melody. We have been through this all our life and we still don't understand each other. You say white and I say black. I say that it is impossible and you insist on continuing without sometimes realizing that you are hurting me. In the end, we hurt each other because I am you and you are me. I hurt you because I do not dare to make your wishes come true and you hurt me because you don't accept my lack of character. Sometimes I think you had bad luck when you choose me as your owner, but then I think that it was not our choice at all, it was a matter of destiny or chance. One thing I am sure of is that because of our history together, this man beside us will never feel the same way. For the same reason I am warning you to prepare yourself to listen and feel me cry because no matter how much I try to tell you not to fall in love again you decided to do it again, you decided that you would feel again what it is to have an unrequired love.

It's 11:11 am in Mrs. Cecilia's coffee house. And while I drink the best cappuccino in town I am making a wish just like every time I am lucky to look at the clock when its 11:11. I know it sounds cheesy and somewhat stupid but I've been doing it for a long time and although nothing comes true, just looking at the clock at that time gives me hope that something good is going to happen today.
It is Tuesday my only day off of the week and if you are wondering what my job is, you only need to know that it consists of deciphering letters and counting pills. Don't misunderstand me I love my job; I earn good money, I can take trips, buy goodies to my dogs and have the house of my dreams. But with everything and that I need days like today to recharge batteries and what better than to do it with a cup of coffee, a good cake, and a novel by Nicole Jacquelyn.

Sitting at the corner table like every day that I come to the coffee house, the person who lately owns all my dreams enters through the door. His name is Andrew. And how do I know that?: well, the first and only day that he sat down next to me, I unintentionally spilled my cup of coffee all over him. Since then, every time we meet we make a gesture of greeting but nothing more. We don't talk at all. And despite that my heart has decided that he would be the possessor of my fantasies from now on.
Today as every day Andrés orders an espresso cup with a corn cake. - Help me God I know what he orders, this is crazy- (I say in my mind). I take a deep breath and try to focus again on the task of continuing to read the book I have on my cell phone. It is at that moment that something strange happens, something that I was not prepared for.

After that day we have continued to meet every Tuesday. Well, I really think it's me who have manipulate our meetings. That first week I came every day until I realized that she only comes on Tuesdays at 11. So I decided to do the same. She always orders a cappuccino and a cake. And when she's not writing on her computer, she's reading from her cell phone. She always dresses comfortable, she never wears too much makeup, and always has a smile for anyone who greets her.
I don't know if she realizes that every time I come to this coffee house I do it for her, to see her, I don't know if she realizes how much time I spend looking at her and if she sees in my eyes how many times I have dreamed of her. But today I am late and I do not know if I will see her and that would be horrible, because if I do not see her today it means that I will not see her until next Tuesday, too many days without seeing her smile. So I am determined that if I see her when I get to the coffee house, I will sit next to her and say: Hello! My name is Andrew.